【1984 Archives】

Equal parts shudder inducing984 Archivesidiotic, ABC's new dating game The Proposalisn't being likened to The Bachelorfranchise nearly as much as it is being compared to Netflix's nightmarish Black Mirror.

Complete with a swimsuit portion and thirty-second responses to "deal breaker" questions, the hour-long reality show follows ten women as they parade around pageant-style for a proposal from a man they've never met.

This ludicrously outdated premise isn't the only thing earning The Proposala Black Mirrorcomparison all over Twitter since it premiered Monday night. Here are seven things that make The Proposala better Black Mirror episode than 2018 dating show.

1. The host is "off."Former NFL player turned host, Jesse Palmer, introduced the premiere episode with a long speech running down the rules of The Proposal. Palmer's piercing (and not at all dreamy) eyes stare down the audience as he announces, "Tonight, history will be made and, hopefully, love will be found... This is not a game."

Palmer's delivery and general demeanor makes it seem like the unselected contestants are going to be sold to Hulu as Handmaid's Tale extras—not sent back to their cheap dressing rooms.

2. Our eligible bachelor gets Black Mirror's "White Christmas" treatment.To up the drama, the man these women are vying for is hidden from view for all but the last five minutes of the show. In an effort to avoid giving anything away, the mystery man is introduced in a montage that features the IRL "blocking" of Black Mirror. The result?America's heartthrob ends up looking like he's fighting crime in a Party City morph suit.

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3. The set is very The Hunger Gamesmeets The Cheesecake Factory.There are a dozen IMAX screens and LED lights, but there's also a weird amount of ceramic tile. The Proposal can't quite pick an aesthetic and, as a result, I spent the whole episode hoping Queer Eye's Bobby Berk would blow in for a quick remodel between desperate pleas for love.

4. The swimsuit portion gives off major "Fifteen Million Merits" vibes. Something about having women searching for love strip down and slip on bikinis feels even seedier than anticipated. Not unlike Black Mirror's "talent show" that results in an aspiring singer being forced into porn, The Proposal seems to pull a switcheroo on its contestants. Come for the shot at love, but stay for the blatant misogyny and objectification.

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5. Black Mirror's actual dating episode seems more human than The Proposal. Black Mirror's "Hang the DJ" received critical acclaim for its realistic yet romantic representation of dating. Alternatively,The Proposal boils down finding the one to a crude and callous 42 minutes.

For me, the most painful moment of the show's first episode involved a contestant removing her swimsuit cover up while saying, "The first thing I wanna do—Dad, I'm sorry—is be vulnerable." Gag.

6. Dating games are generally vapid, but The Proposalis at "Nosedive" levels.In what has got to be in the Top 10 cringiest moments of the first episode, a contestant reveals to the audience that she has been on a weight loss journey for three years, a relatable story for many. But then, the host has producers project her "before" picture onto a building-sized screen behind her.

It comes across more as mockery than celebration, and left me wondering what that would do to the contestant's "overall rating" in the Black Mirrorworld.

7. As Black Mirror likes to point out regularly, we are the worst. Despite The Proposal being a reprehensible, sexist catastrophe, nearly 4 million people watched it anyway, myself included. Black Mirror'screatorsseem to relish in exposing our most shallow flaws, but maybe this time we can beat them to the punch. For the love of Charlie Brooker, let's all do our best to avoid tuning in to The Proposalnext week.

Though I would like to hear more from the woman in the promo looking for a man who is both "Mr. Rogers and Christian Grey." I mean, that's just good TV.